Deep South (AP) - In a surprising press release today, Chuck Craddock, Cecil Craddock and Cletus H. Gibson finally revealed what happened to the original chuckandcletus.com website. Specifically, why it went down and where they disappeared to for so many years.
"Shortly put in a short sentence," stated Chuck Craddock, one of the founding members of ChuckandCletus.com and ChuckandCletus2.com, "Cletus done went to jail."
"He kindly got his hand caught in the perverbital cookie jar," Cecil Craddock added with a knowing grin. "And when I say perverbital, I mean perverbital. Such as it was, he got snagged spying up on women in the Sears dressing room." Cecil continued, "He had a job as mall security and had one of them toe cameras on his shoe. Thought he was slick when he slid it under the dressing room door."
Cletus admitted, "The woman screamed and I tried to tell her I was mall security but that didn't matter to her. Next thing I knew, the door flew open and all three hundred pounds of her came barreling out at me. The only thing she had on was a pair of pink thongs and a Dickies workshirt." Cletus shuddered.
"Anyways," Chuck said, "What happened was Cletus went away for a coupla years. We don't know how to do any of this computer junk so someone stole the original .com name. Now they just sit it there with some search crap and make millions off the loyal following we had built up."
Chuck continued, "When Cletus was in, me and Cecil went to find the pencil-neck that stole the site and never could find him. But we got a good idea he's living in a single-wide somewhere in Kernersville. That's in North Carolina, you see, and when we finally find him ..." Chuck symbollically punched a fist into an open hand.
ChuckandCletus.com began in early 2003 and in their first year, raked in a respectable 1.2 million page views. The second year saw them eclipse the 2.5 million mark but that's where the road to fame and fortune ended. Shortly after Cletus was incarcerated, the site suffered a major crash and most of the material was lost. There was a backup from when the site began but it wasn't much.
"When I got out, we all had a brainstorming session of what to do," Cletus said. "That's when I came up with the idea to add a 2 to the end of the name and continue the site. We gonna Google it every day and see if we can get all our people back. We're also gonna sign up on that bookface place and make a bunch of friends."
Chuck, Cecil and Cletus have all vowed to never rest until the site is restored back to its former glory.
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